first love

Meaningful moments that

take the place of sorrows,

ebbing away to emptiness;

beauty finally realized.

it's that heart within him

that satisfies this soul.

being my being like rhyme

against everything that

rhymes in my eternity. his

powerful emotion mAde it

possible to annihilate a 

tragic notion. inhibited

feeling, it's an unjust art

of hurting oneself until

pain does not feel like it

feels anymore. try always

to play fair even if life's 

not. few questions alOng a

long line of others, singe,

and everything goes hazy.

at long last he is found. lO!

~HE~

01dec04

first love is not meant to be forgotten. not all love stories may have happy endings, but a person who takes a chance at love should not regret it's outcome. i made this poem so i would never forget my first, unrequited love. therein lies his very name. he never knew. he would never find out.

i prayed to the Almighty one day to erase the feeling if he was not the guy made for me. i can no longer bear the pain at that moment. the following morning came and i woke up, still remembering him, but as one particular song goes, "i don't remember the feeling anymore." it was quite amazing, it felt like my heartbeats and heartaches during the past months never happened.

but they did happen. the time i made the poem was probably the last time i felt that strong emotion for him. the next thing i knew, the feeling was gone. the poem remained. something to keep until i meet the person who's destiny is to be with me. in fact, i think it is something to keep for life. 

for me, cherishing the memories of first love is significant, for the simple reason that he/she was the first - the first person that made you toss and turn in bed at night; the first person that made you dress a little more decent than you did during ordinary days; the first person that made it possible for you to dream with eyes wide open; the first person that made your heart twitch (literally); and probably the first person that made you realize that 'crying buckets of tears' was not an idiomatic expression after all, because you were able to produce them.

when the time comes that i grow senile, or suddenly have an amnesia attack, the puzzle will help me remember. i should probably make one for my true love as well, but since i've never met him yet, i won't waste too much time composing one right now. 

for you, first love, cheers! no one will ever take your place in my past. but the place you once held in my heart is now empty. ###