fascinated

i'm a clown for being nostalgic. but that's the way i am. tried to keep moving from one moment to the next, but still stuck with a vivid memory of some distant past i just can't forego.

the careless laughters, the truthfulness behind each smile. the sincerity of every action. the youthful hope for tomorrow, may it be bright or not. it was all there. there in that not so distant past that i've been trying to let go.

the bitterweet feeling of remembering the glorious days is sickening. but the choice was mine to make in the first place. i chose to remember. i chose not to move on. because moving on would mean growing old. and growing old would lead to a personal death that i'm not yet willing to succumb to.

i chose to suffer to continue the spark that was passed onto me by people before me. people who had in their turn, experienced that same distant past.

the flame of hope remains as long as there are those of us who remember. it may not be as shining as the shining of the darkest shadows of despair, but it's a start. always a start. no tomorrow will be lost as long as the flame of hope remains. no youth will be wasted. no life will be taken for granted. #

"the loudest sound that a loner could hear is silence." - cesiaj.moi